Too busy to update now; look out for one later. Merry Christmas!!!

Bless me with the
Leaf off of the tree
On it I see
The freedom reign

We are falling
The light is calling
Tears inside me
Calm me down

Midnight calling
Mist of resolving
Crown me, with the
Pure green leaf

Praise to my father
Blessed by the water
Black night, dark sky
The devil's cry

September 20th will now be, for me, a day that will live in infamy. Be warned; this update will be discussing anime. If that’s not your cup of tea then feel free to ignore the following wall of text.

Toonami, Cartoon Network’s primer block of action animation and anime, was canceled.

When news of that reached me, I went a little numb inside. The vast majority of my anime indulgence was a direct result of my watching Toonami since I first began in 1998. I cannot even begin to describe to you the joy I felt as I came home each day from junior, and subsequently high school to watch Toonami from 5 pm until 7. Those two (and sometimes three) hours found me completely engrossed in shows that would soon become some of my all time favorite anime, including Dragonball Z, Gundam Wing, Tenchi Muyo, The Big O and more. Even more than that though, I remember that watching Toonami wasn’t the same as watching any other form of animated entertainment at the time. They had original videos, eyecatches, openings for the anime series, and even special showcases called Total Immersion events involving Toonami’s host TOM. The memories I associate with what I call Toonami’s “golden era” (somewhere around the time DBZ premiered until Toonami moved from weekday afternoons to Saturday nights) are some of my fondest from childhood. Even simple things, like talking with my only other anime friend in high school about the shows, and getting extremely excited when we saw the 15 second promos for the new seasons of DBZ. I remember watching Blue Submarine No. 6 during a particularly chilly week in early Fall, being captivated by the story and the animation quality for its time. I remember the times I’d be sitting in Math class completely oblivious to whatever Ms. Berndhart was saying, because my mind was still going over the latest plot twist in Gundam Wing, and the anticipation of that day’s new episode was just too overwhelming for me to worry about some trivial algebraic equations. I can go on, and on.

But as it is the nature of things to end, Toonami’s was certainly not the one I’d evisioned. The block took a nosedive in quality after it shifted to Saturday nights, because the audience (people in my age group) weren’t there anymore. It was almost as if CN didn’t want us anymore; catering to younger audience with various 4Kids properties like Pokemon, Duel Masters and YuGiOh. No longer did it seem to have the charm it once had, like a diamond ring that has lost its lustre. Change is inevitable, but the unceremonious dismissal of a franchise that provided quality anime (not to mention introducing anime to new US audiences) was simply disheartening. The VHS tapes of classic Toonami programs I made are now vintage; relics of an era where it was exciting to be a fan of a Cartoon Network that cared more about quality than quantity.

I understand that this may mean nothing to the vast majority of you…but to those who share my sentiment and feel as I have felt about Toonami, I’m sure I’ve gotten to you. In a childhood of myriad ups and downs, I have Toonami to thank for the moments where I got to escape from it all, and feel fortunate to be an anime fan.

Toonami: March 19th, 1997 – September 20th, 2008

Later.

                                                                                              SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY…

Summer’s over. September’s here once again. There was a time when this month signified new beginnings; the promise of new experiences. Now, nothing. It’s just another ordinary day in a life that grows more exasperating as time rushes onward. A part of me longs for the former sense of genesis that September once brought. I can remember many Septembers where I actually enjoyed going to school, but more enjoyed coming home to after school anime…those were really the days. I better stop before my nostalgia gets worse.

No new developments in terms of my career, but I have been kindling a strong urge to take some classes in editing programs like Final Cut Pro, Photoshop and After Effects in order to expand my skills. I need to find some way to stay at my job so I can still make money, after all tuition isn’t cheap. I’m still working out the details.

My uncle from Trinidad is visiting for a few days. A welcome visit it is, but it only makes me realize that the apartment I live is not one that readily accommodates guests. I know I can’t accommodate him in the same way he accommodated us last year at his 4 bedroom, 2 story home in Trinidad and it’s not a good feeling. But that’s enough about that.

Though I may be out of NYU, it certainly isn’t out of me. My weekly trips to the anime and DDR clubs begin again, and with my friends Jon and Gale as presidents respectively, it should prove to be an interesting year. The New York Anime Fest is this month, and I plan on making the most of that. Other than that, September holds nothing more of merit. So, I’ll keep on going, hoping that I can feel better about my life soon.

                                                                                                     SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY…

Things these days may not make me as happy as I’d like to be right now, but yesterday was one of the few that gave me that little glimmer of hope that perhaps my situation will work out eventually.

My friend Brian celebrated his 22nd birthday on Tuesday, and this weekend was the event to celebrate that. I started off heading to his apartment to play Guilty Gear with him and some others friend in the group who are into that kinda thing; Jon, Eric, Anna, PatricK, Chris….good times were had all around. I had some pretty intense fights; my Johnny took rounds but lost matches, and my Dizzy won a close one against Eric’s powerful Hol Order Sol. Chris’ Faust was tough as usual, and my main rival in Jon’s Robo-Ky continued to test my patience lol. It was great though; we’ve all decided to get better at this game, which should mean that we’ll be getting more GG gatherings as time goes along.

Dinner was at 7 at this French Bistro on University Place near my alma mater. I had mozzarella ravioli with a bonus 1/2 chicken that Jon’s girlfriend couldn’t finish and offered to me The food was exquisite, if a bit on the pricey side. I wasn’t bothered too much; my paycheck may be pathetic, but it’s a paycheck.

Afterwards it was back to Bri’s place for a trivia game; I didn’t do as well as I did on Chris’ trivia game back in June, but it was a lot of fun. After that was the cutting of his delicious chocolate birthday cake, followed by the attendees splitting up to play Apples to Apples and Super Smash Bros Brawl (I was with the latter crowd). Again, there were good times to be had all around. Someone needs to stop me from using Ike and Pikachu; they are not pleasant to fight against (or so my friends complain to me)

Got home around 1:30am, and now I’m debating whether or not to stay home or go to the beach. The reason I’m debating it is because my mom’s giving me grief about the fact that I’m always going out. Y’know last time I checked I was 23 yrs old and mature enough to maintain an active social life. My dad’s not too far behind her either. Oh well. These days I’m slowly learning to hold my tongue, maintain my composure and ignore the both of them. It’s just that I’m being the bigger person as to avoid a full-blown argument, because as angry as I get it’s the last thing I want. I just hope I can continue keeping my cool.

Everything has it’s limits, however.

A good time was had. It was a much needed break from the usual mundane of my so-called life.

                                                                                                       SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY…

Did you guys go see Wall.E? I hope you did. No, I haven’t seen Dark Knight yet (as of this writing) because nearly every frickin’ theater is sold out at the times I’m able to see it. I’m aiming for Monday. And that’s all I wanna hear on the matter.

So I’ve thought about some stuff, but not as much as I really should. I did make up my mind about one thing that i I’d been considering lately: going back to school. I’ve decided to not go back until I’m living on my own and closer to the city. I thought about how taxing it was at times during my college career living at home and I decided that those stressful times are moments I’d much rather not relive. This time around my studies have to be on my own terms, and I truly think that being on my own will benefit me better in the long run.

More on this later.

Go see this movie. Now.

                                                                                               SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY…

OK, so maybe I’m not updating as much as I said I would. What can I say, times change, things come up and I want to expand my horizons outside of computer screen society. For example, two weekends ago I was in Long Island celebrating my friend Chris’ birthday, which was a blast. There was pool, video games, a jacuzzi, a trivia contest, food, drinks, and a sleepover. One of the best weekends I’d had in a long time. Then yesterday was AnimeNext 2008 and I went with a group for the first time since I’d been attending back in 2006. This year I entered a Guilty Gear tournament, my second one overall. Didn’t do as well as I did that last time (lost to a skilled Milla player in the first round; pathetic I know) but I had some victories in casuals and even made a new friend/rival. All in all it was worth it. Afterwards we went to Chris’ apartment in Queens for some Brawl which was awesome as usual.

As for my job, things are getting busier; I have more responsibilities and I generally tolerate what I do to a point. I’m still sending out my resume and thinking about what it is I REALLY want to do. Figuring it all out, keeping my cool…it’s a tough job. I still have hope, and as long as I have that I think I’ll be OK.

                                                                                                                    SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY…

Well there’s a bit of a development in the job situation. I’ve been asked to stay on as a temp indefinitely at the Weinstein Company. Not only that, they’ll try to get me a raise while I temp and I also have a chance to be employed full-time, but that aspect is not set in stone and may take some time. The full-time position would be in Accounts Payable, but I’m in the right company; I can easily switch departments as time goes on.

At this point, my mindset is better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. I can get good work experience, a steady paycheck and networking opportunities here, not to mention that I know what to do and what the company’s modus operandi is.

For now, this will be that path I walk. Time will tell if I’ll come to regret this decision.

                                                                                                                  SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY…

Memorial Day weekend is here, which means a four day work week for many of us. Despite the fact that I’m on a so-called ‘temporary’ assignment, it seems as if I’d been working for years at this company. I don’t mean this in a a negative way mind you; I seem to have adjusted quite well to these new surroundings. The work I do isn’t hard, everyone there is pretty amiable and there isn’t the slightest hint of office drama/politics anywhere. In spite of all of this, the fact that Monday is a holiday and I don’t have to go to work makes me happy. I’m sure it makes you happy too. Which brings me to a few comments on things that have been going through my mind these past few months.

In high school and college they tell you that you need to work hard so that when you graduate you’ll be able to attend a good college/get a good job. Then what? What does life truly hold for us once the school bell rings for that final time? I don’t think our teachers/professors really knew how to prepare us for that phase of our lives, and to be honest they really can’t. We all want different things out of life, and to streamline a modus operandi for accomplishing this would be impossible. Therefore it is up to us to figure that one out. And here’s where the potential for breakdown occurs.

On graduation day we are all smiles and full of ‘HFTF’ (Hope For The Future). But soon after, reality sets in and all of a sudden the floor drops from right underneath us. Though I really shouldn’t generalize, because some of us go on to grad, medical school, waltz into a job immediately etc. The rest of us though, well, what exactly? The big question mark starting at us in the face seems ever present, despite efforts to figure it all out. It doesn’t seem fair. But then we land something, and we’re happy again. And still, many of us are unhappy, or at the very least unsatisfied with the way life has become. It’s like we wake up one morning and realize that this is how it’s going to be from now until retirement/death. Work, work and more work. It’s why I think the prospect of the three-day weekend, or vacation time is so succulent to people in this situation. They’re looking for something more; something they can’t truly get from working a 9-5, even if it’s a job they love. And statistics very often show that many people are not satisfied with their jobs. So what alternative is there? The world revolves around money; if you don’t work, you don’t get it. Of course there are alternative ways to getting money, but those tends to either lead to prison or hasten one’s death. Which means for those who chose to live an honest life, and are not blessed with having been born with the so-called silver spoon, we have to work and work hard.

I wish it weren’t like that for us in society. It drives a line through the social classes, causing resentment and unnecessary hatred and jealousy. Why can’t we all do what we truly want to do and make a decent living at it? Think of everyone who’s trying to become actors, writers, entertainers but typically abandon their dreams because it’s become impossible for them to acheive them. Then think about how few succeed in these fields, and how many laudations they are given (not to say that some aren’t deserving of them) and how it must make those who failed feel.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I wish I grew up with a more realist perspective around me rather than the “you-can-acheive-anything-you-want-if-you-work-hard” crock of bullshit that I and many people from my generation were fed, because it’s simply not true. There are many, mant talented, hard-working people out there who honestly want to be successful but through no fault of their own, simply cannot do so; I even know some of them personally. And they all, for lack of a better expression, sing the same tune: that life is never black or white, but just a horrible shade of grey.

Hmm…perhaps I came off a bit bitter in this one. But it’s something that been in my head, and getting it out was a bit theraputic. Methinks I should do this more often

“There’s a time when you have to separate yourself from what other people expect of you, and do what you love. Because if you find yourself 50 years old and you aren’t doing what you love, then what’s the point?”

— Jim Carrey

                                                                                                              SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY…