December 31, 2009

• Year’s End (Onward To Another Tomorrow…)

  2009. What was it? For me it was without question one of the most revolutionary in terms of my personal life. It was a year in which I lost as much as I had gained. In the anime Full Metal Alchemist, the show’s primary principle of “Equivalent Exchange” states that in order to obtain, something of equal value must be lost. I am a bit reticent in using an aspect of fiction to describe my reality but at this point in time I fail to find another theme that sufficiently describes the past twelve months to my liking. For every moment of happiness I felt, it appeared that soon to follow was some tragedy of comparable degree. I’m not too knowledgeable about the concept of karma but I think what I’ve been through could potentially be described as such. Despite all this, I also felt that this was a year that saw me age a little bit more in mentality and my outlook on life. A year where, at times, I would achieve a lucidity clearer than a sigh in the middle of winter and at others I would degrade into a darkness too opaque for words. This kind of emotional fluctuation isn’t necessarily foreign to me, but this year I felt as if that fluctuation was balanced. I realize that my previous sentence is a bit paradoxical, but it’s the best I can write for now.

  I think without question the defining moment of 2009 was my being laid off from my permalance position at the Weinstein Company. When I was let go, it was at a time where I was beginning to become very acclimated to my work there. I’d had some issues with it in the past, but during the first quarter of the year I managed to excel at my job in a way I wasn’t sure I was capable of. It felt good. And as a result, I became content and (dare I say) happy with myself there. My boss and coworkers were great people, I showed that I can produce results under pressure, and in the midst of a recession it was a paycheck I could look forward to at the end of every week.

  And then the bottom fell out.

  It was a rough going during the months that followed, swimming in and out of a mild depression with only my friends and hobbies to keep me sane. July through early September were quite dark for me. The solitude and feelings of despair and hopelessness seemed ubiquitous. But then, in the middle of September I found a temp job at a CPA firm called Perelson Weiner that revived me. The work was intense as I was hired to deal with all of the horrors of tax season, but it kept me occupied and most importantly it gave me a purpose. I was working some long hours too, so all of the OT pay made things even better. After that job ended in mid-October I was hired once again by a nonprofit called MDRC where I remain to this day. Interestingly enough this assignment was due to end two weeks before Christmas, but it was extended to today, and then it was extended yet again to January 15th. I’m hoping that this is a sign of something good to come my way. If not, oddly enough I feel as if 2010 will find my more successful in my job search. I haven’t felt this positive about that aspect of my life in some time, and I hope I’m not disappointed.

  In terms of the year’s high points, the only one that was really significant was attending Otakon for the first time in all my years of being an anime fan. This year was also my first time cosplaying, which was met with success (or so I’m told). I think I also set a record for most conventions attended in a single year (AnimeNext, Otakon and NYAF; a paltry sum I know but let’s remember that I lost my job ok?). My cosplay of choice was Louis from Left 4 Dead (seriously who else could I have been this year) and it was great. Otakon was also memorable because it was a good bonding experience for me and the four friends I traveled with to Baltimore. I hope that 2010′s conventions continue to be on par with this year’s Otakon. It was one for the memory banks.

  Speaking of friends, this year saw me grow closer to them in the usual nerd-filled way. I was happily exposed to new genres of games (FPS) that I’d no previous inclination towards (but do now) and new experiences that continued to show me how much I have in common with them (video game tournaments, movies, food outings). There are times where I wonder if it really is ok to completely be myself around them, but then I am reminded that these guys probably would want nothing less from me, no matter how many times I piss them off in New Super Mario Bros Wii. I could be wrong about the latter, though.

  It was a decent year for games, but a lot of the big releases this year honestly did not appeal to me one but (Modern Warfare 2, Tekken 6 among others). What DID appeal to me though came in the form of Street Fighter 4, Left 4 Dead 2, Punch Out Wii, Uncharted 2, New Super Mario Bros. Wii and Zelda: Spirit Tracks. The year wasn’t without its disappointments though (Resident Evil 5, BlazBlue and King of Fighters XII). I also caught up on some retro games I missed out on such as Resident Evil, Super Metroid, Mother 3 and Mega Man games 2 through 5. The old favorite Guilty Gear continues to excite and my group’s skill level continues to rise. Though 2009 was decent, 2010 promises to be excellent with some triple-A titles coming out in the first quarter (Bayonetta anyone?)

  In terms of anime, 2009 was a little quiet in that respect. The year’s best in my opinion was Eden of the East with Moribito a close second. Other than that, I spent a lot of the year re-watching my favorites like Cowboy Bebop and Trigun.  Anime in 2010 better be more of a roar than this year’s whimper.

  2009 also saw the loss of some of my most respected celebrities, most notably Michael Jackson. Others like Bea Arthur, Billy Mays, Farrah Faucett and Patrick Swayze hurt too, but MJ’s loss was too great. The world lost an irreplaceable talent on June 26th and I don’t think the pain of that loss will ever truly disappear.

  And with that I bring my year in review to a close. What was said was said, and what is soon about to be in the past will be just that. In terms of my hopes for 2010, I would like to find another full-time job, read more, write more, learn more about computers and software that I’m interested in. Be less absentminded, be more focused in everything from my daily activities, to work and to achieving any goals I set for myself. And finding a girlfriend might also be nice. 2009 never gave me time to think about that aspect of my life. I hope 2010 will be more forgiving in that regard. I can hope.

  So my fellow xangans, Happy New Year. May the mistakes of the past be forgot and never brought to mind, and may the road ahead always lead to a clearing regardless of any bumps along the way.

                                                                                                      SEE YOU IN ’10 SPACE COWBOY…

                                                                                                   
   

  • 6:06 pm
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