Surprise, surprise all. I am still alive, and so is my xanga. Honestly, the reason why I haven’t been writing more is because there really hasn’t been much to write about. Sure you could argue that I don’t necessarily have to write about the everyday happenings of my mundane so-called life, but with the total readers of this xanga less than the number of fingernails on my index finger well, it doesn’t seem worth it. But something has definitely been stirring inside me these past few months, and I’ve been a quiet observer of many things that pose strong questions in my mind. But that will have to wait for a later update when I can coherently my thoughts, as I’m don’t feel incredibly verbose at the moment. So let me update you (and by ‘you’ I probably mean no one) on my life since the last post.

I still haven’t managed to find a full-time job yet, despite my best and most arduous efforts. I’ve had interviews up the yin-yang but for some reason I keep getting passed over for some other guy (or girl) with more experience yada yada yada. Gee, and here I thought nine months at SNL would have prepared me for anything, not to mention my campus job for 3.5 years. Anyway…I’ve been temping with two agencies that have since been sending me out on assignments roughly three times a week. As of this writing, I’ve been assigned a long-term temp position at the Weinstein Company, working in the Accounts Payable Department. The job has been OK so far; the people are nice, my supervisor is cool, but AP isn’t exactly what I spent four years at NYU to do, though I am in the right company. The hours are 10-7 pm, with one hour for lunch (which I don’t really need) so sometimes it feels as if I have much less time for after-work shenanigans than I would have if I worked 9-5. But at the end of the day, I get a paycheck at the end of the week and I can continue to send out my resume. No hits yet though, and the frustration is unbelievable. Is is that hard to find an entry-level television production position in this city?

To pass the time (and give myself peace of mind) I’ve been hanging out with my college buddies from anime club playing video games (Guilty Gear Accent Core and Super Smash Brother Brawl are the staples right now) playing games at home, watching anime, and doing some light poetry reading.

My hobbies are really keeping me going as it turns out, and I need to invest in them more. I want to get a PSP with Final Fantasy Tactics and God of War: Chains of Olympus. Would REALLY like a PS3 but I don’t think that can happen until I get a full-time. There are some anime conventions coming up that I want to go to. I also want to invest in an arcade joystick so that I can enter the competitive fighting game arcade scene (of which one exists in New York, to my surprise). The list goes on.

What about my other goals such as getting back into music and writing you say? I still would like to achieve them, but without the stability of a full-time and a better living situation at home, I can’t really pursue them in the manner I would like. Once I eventually move out though, the sky’s the limit.

Well what do you know…I ended up pretty verbose after all.

Oh well. The cowboy’s still around people, and hopefully there’ll be more up here than a fancy-schmancy anime background theme.
                                                                                                          

                                                                                          SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY…

Recently the family celebrated the 50th birthday of one of my many aunts with a surprise party at a church in Queens. The event was great; my aunt was completely taken aback; she suspected nary a thing. Suffice to say there was food, family and good times to be had all around. While catching up with family members I had lost touch with for a while I began realizing just how much time has passed by, and how quickly everyone’s lives are changing. It took me a few days to process everything coherently in my mind, and while I’m sure I’ve not quite grasped the situation fully, it did inspire me to write something.

These days I’m still going out on interviews, waiting to hear back from companies. My most recent one went very well (at least to me) and I’m hoping that they offer me a position. While waiting I seem to be doing all I can to not think about my situation too much…gaming, watching anime, (tanget: Super Smash Bros. Brawl is out and I can’t wait ’till I get my hand on is ::end tangent::), taking driving lessons etc. while going around with this feeling that there is not much else I can do BUT wait. I’ve definitely noticed a lapse in my self-confidence as a result and I’m not so sure if that’s immediately rectifiable. Every now and then I wonder what my life would have been like had I made different choices along the way; majored in something different, gone to a different university, heck, what if I’d never come to the States period. There’s an old saying that one is never ‘lost’ because one is always where one is supposed to be but sometimes I wonder. Making mistakes on a grand scale is nothing new to the human species, much less to each individual person. I guess it’s a sense of helplessness I feel these days, as if I’ve reached the limit of my capabilities in terms of trying to enter that next big chapter in my life. Or maybe it’s anxiety. I figured if I tried to write something I’d be able to figure it out, but it seems I’m just as confused as when I began. Oh well.

“Good things come to those who wait”, I remind myself. This period of stagnation is almost too much to bear but I still have some sliver of hope. What do I hope to accomplish? Well a few things, really. This is how it should go, ideally: land a great full-time job. Resume gym training. Buy more books so I can read more. Buy all those games I want that I can’t get at the moment. Resume playing music but with an emphasis on playing with others. That’s about it. I truly feel that I can get all of this done, but only once I start working. I know it sounds weird as the latter goals seem achievable regardless of my job status but you’d understand if you knew how broke I was. I guess once I can get my days to be more predictable I can manage things better. I think that’s why I was able to do pretty well in college; I’m decent at managing time. But that can’t happen as long as I’m stuck in this rut of applying for jobs, going on interviews and not hearing back from people.

There, it’s finally out of my system (*phew*). I don’t write as much as I used to because I had nothing to write about; I hope that changes soon. Until my next ‘thoughtscape’ readers.

                                                                                                              SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY…

Happy Valentine’s All.

SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!

SUCK IT PATRIOTS!!!!

                                                          SEE YOU NEW ENGLAND! BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!

They say good things come to those who wait. If that’s the case then I should be in for some good times soon. As it stands now I’m waiting to hear back from Animation Collective, who emailed me two weeks ago saying that they were interested in hiring me but are waiting to start production on a new animated series they have (supposedly a new Speed Racer series). My anticipation precedes my patience sometimes though, because I’ve been out of a regular job since May of last year and the fact that I can potentially have an entry-level position in what is essentially my dream career is almost too much to bear, which results in anxiety at times. Nevertheless, I have to wait and trust that this company will make good on their word soon, after all the show is due to air this Fall, so production’s gotta start soon. Besides, do I really have any other choice?

At least I’ve been keeping myself occupied (not constructively, I admit though it is arguable) playing a slew of games and watching anime. I figure I better take advantage now since when I begin working that fun stuff will be regulated to weekends and (maybe) after work hours when I come straight home. Sure I could spent my time doing other things, but I just don’t seem to have the motivation right now. I guess I’m still waiting for certain things in my personal life to change. Right now playing games and anime provide temporary relief.

That’s not to say that I don’t have plans, or don’t do anything else. I’m reading a poetry book by one of my favorite lyricists and I pick up the bass every now and then (sometimes I even play a note or two) so all is not lost. I even venture into the outside world every now and then. At the end of the day though, I’m just waiting to start my career, because I have a hunch that once I get rolling, my motivation will kick back and I can finally start changing my lifestyle.

And so, I continue to wait. I have a good feeling though.

Also, my deepest thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of Heath Ledger, who passed away yesterday. Via Con Dios.

                                                           Heath Ledger (1979-2008)
                                                          SEE YOU, SPACE COWBOY…

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy BIRTHDAY dear mee-eeeeee,
Holy crap you’re getting old

So another birthday has come along…I am now 23 years old. I was 17 when I started this xanga. And looking back at my old entries only makes me feel that much more older…now I know those who still read and are older than I am are shaking your heads at this point wondering about this “old” nonsense I’m talking about…but so much has happened in those six years, and because I have a good portion of those years written down on this blog it only allows me to analyze my life even more specifically. Put it this way; I was in high school then, now I’m getting ready to enter the ‘real world’. It’s quite a perspective.

Anyway, my birthday was great; I spent the day at home relaxing, answering calls from family and friends, then that night I went to the city for dinner and some live music at a cafe near my alma mater NYU. None other than Steve Conte was performing, and to make things better he played one of my favorite songs of his and wished me a happy birthday! Now if that wasn’t a great way to end the birthday night then I don’t know what was. After that I headed to my friend’s apartment two blocks away for some gaming. Guilty Gear to be specific. Good times.

This may be my last birthday ‘free’….next year (most likely) I’ll be working on my birthday. But by then I should have some stories to tell so that’s ok. Another year older another year wiser….hopefully.

Thanks to all for the birthday wishes!

                                                                                                           HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Before I update this entry properly, I shall list my first ever Best of 2007 Awards for various categories. They’re not many, and they may mean nothing to you and….ah hell just indulge me ok?

Best Anime of 2007

It was a good year for anime. In my world, 2007 brought me several new series to watch, even though they were around prior to that year. But only one could be considered the best, and here are the nominees:


Ergo Proxy
Tenjho Tenge
Death Note
Blood+
Claymore

And the winner is: Death Note. No other anime this year has more originality, suspense, character and atmosphere than this gripping series. Not since Samurai Seven have I been so excited to watch my usual Sunday anime. 2008 is looking bright as this series continues!

Best Song of 2007

Unlike the rest of the world, I actually find my music from places other than MTV. And the quality of that music tends to be more…shall we say, refined. I was exposed to some new tunes this year, (quite a bit actually) and I hope 2008 brings me even more melody and a little less cacophony. Here are the nominees:

“After Dark” – Asian Kung-Fu Generation
“Rewrite” – Asian Kung-Fu Generation
“Kiri” – Monoral
“Signal Fire” – Snow Patrol
“Somebody to Love” – Queen
“Play the Game” – Queen
“Tane Wo Maku Hibi” – Atari Kosuke
“Makes Me Wonder” – Maroon 5
“Learn to Fly” – Foo Fighters
“If You” – Mai Yamane

And the winner is:  “After Dark” by Asian Kung-Fu Generation. The newest theme song of the long running anime series Bleach hits a spectacularly high note this time around, brilliantly expressing the current Bleach storyline. It’s a hard rock tune that has excellent use of crescendo, and every time I listen to it my adrenaline rushes. Kudos to those in charge for choosing this song to represent Bleach; it is the best!

Best Game of 2007

This category needs no explanation. Here are the nominees for best video game I’ve played in 2007

Pokemon Diamond – DS
Pokemon Battle Revolution – Wii
Super Mario Galaxy – Wii
Guitar Hero III – Wii
Guilty Gear Accent Core – PS2

And the winner is: Super Mario Galaxy. This was a no-brainer; while the other games were excellent, they still have that stigma of “been there, done that already but it still rocks”. SMG offers a fresh, original take on the Mario franchise, in a much more unique take than any of the other long running series nominees. Fun, addictive, and loads of replay value make this game my unquestionable best game I’ve played in 2007.

And that’s that. I think I’ll save the resolution post for tomorrow. Do enjoy my nonsensical-ness. Agree? Disagree?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

And just like that, it’s the end of another year. It simply amazes me every time I find myself in retrospect of the past 12 months. Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m even capable of describing just how overwhelming this past year was; as they go by the years are consecutively usurping each other in terms of significance. 2007 was a BIG one; the event of the year definitely goes to my trip home to Trinidad after 9 years…no event was of more importance than that; not even graduation from NYU because that was something I spent 4 years working towards, and well, I was going to make sure that I did graduate.

But I digress. 2007 was powerful and to get every minute detail of it would be nigh impossible. But I’ll do my best….

January
- Spring semester of senior year begins; my second semester at SNL also begins. Balancing my classes, job and internship were great challenges
- My 22nd birthday occurs
- Bleach anime returns to manga storyline kicking off with the Vizard Arc

February
- Interviewed for NBC Page Program, was rejected
- My boss at my on campus job announced her resignation effective March 15th
- Had a bout with bronchitis
- Naruto ends its filler run with the return to the manga storyline (Naruto Shippuden)

March
- Things slow down on the job, Spring Break

April
- My Ipod of 3+ years dies
-My undergraduate career at NYU comes to an end

May
- Received award for excellence on the job
- Graduated from NYU
- Learned that my graduation gift was a trip home to Trinidad

June
- Period of relaxation begins by playing God of War 2, watching anime (GiTS: Solid State Society)
- Rejoined my old high school jazz band to perform at its graduation ceremonies

July
- My adopted grandfather passed away
- Spent a week in Connecticut helping my cousin and her family move into a new house
- Attended AnimeNext

August
- Spent two weeks in my homeland, Trinidad and Tobago

September
- I joined a few temp agencies that send me out on work, the job search for full-time work begins

October
- Nothing of significance

November
- Worked for three weeks at a PBS Kids TV show called Word World
- Super Mario Galaxy arrived and I bought it on release day
- Death Note premieres

December
- Had a good interview at a company called Animation Collective
- Christmas, wonderful as usual

Trust me, it may not seem like much (especially towards the end of the year) but they were very significant because 2007 was a year that brought a BIG change in my lifestyle: no more school and the process of moving on. I think I’ve really learned a lot this year, and it is my hope that as 2008 approaches I take that knowledge and use it to make my life more meaningful. 2007 was the year of change. 2008 will be the year I take a stand.

Happy New Year!

                                                                                                       SEE YOU, 2007!

And here it has come again. Merry Christmas everyone! Time and time again this day has been one of the most pleasant of the year and this year is no exception. In addition to making out like a bandit in terms of gifts, some family came over to spend some time, which was quite enjoyable. And as usual the day flies by before you know it, and it’s back to waiting for the next Christmas. Such is life. Anyway here’s what I got:

A slew of games: Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings, Rouge Galaxy, the Metroid Prime trilogy , One Piece Pirates Carnival. Anime: Gundam Wing Season 1 box-set. Cologne, money, clothes….etc. The surprise this ear was the Metroid Prime trilogy that my best friend got me…totally didn’t expect that!

So there was feasting, laughing, playing…all in all it was a great Christmas.

Hopefully the last week of the year will ride itself out so that 2008 can find me fresh and renewed. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.

                                                          MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

Ah, Christmas Eve. One day before one of the most enjoyable days of the year. This year promises to bring another exciting Christmas. But this year I’ve come to the realization that despite all of my love and passion for this holiday season, it will never again bring me that feeling of wonderment and magic that it used to when I was younger and excited about Santa Claus. I spent a lot of time today going over past Christmases, and I’ve found that as the years go by, my presents become more and more predictable; that element of surprise on Christmas Day rarely happens anymore. When I was kid I made wish lists to Santa, not my parents or family and friends. And I never could get a good night’s sleep Christmas Eve. But I guess it’s the nature of things like that to end. One day we have to grow up. I consider that to be one of the worst things that the human race has to endure. Unlike many others, I miss the innocence of my childhood….but that’s another story.

Well anyway…I’m just glad to see another Christmas in good health. All I can do is press on in this life.

Full Christmas update tomorrow. ‘Nite all! Santa cometh!

                                                                                                    SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY…