May 25, 2009

• Forever Broke (It's Been A While)

  So much for coming back to update my post about my birthday huh. Well, I can make any number of excuses I want but the fact of the matter is that the past few months have wrought upon me so many different distractions that updating xanga has become even more difficult than ever before. I suppose that it's only natural for that to happen as time progresses. However I do have the desire to write more, and despite the fact that this probably won't be read anymore, I figure it'll be a good exercise for me seeing as I haven't done it in over six months.

  Well, I'll try as best as I can to summarize the events that have occurred since my 24th birthday. I'm still working at Accounts Payable at the Weinstein Company; a job that I have grown accustomed to but certainly feel trapped in. But with the state of the economy the way it is, I'm lucky to be in a job, period. While I am grateful for that, I have always encountered moments where I begin to resent this period of my life. It sometimes feels as if all of my chances to succed, to be happy, have run out. Every day it's the same old routine, work, home, sleep, with the occassional (read: frequent) video game to pass the time.What's been keeping me somewhat sane is the time I spent with the group of friends I've managed to keep in close contact with since college. I think I depend on their company more now than ever before since when I'm with them it feels like I truly belong somewhere. A feeling I don't always find at work, and even at home sometimes.

  Other than that, I saw some cool movies, Watchmen being my personal fav of the year, especially since I've read the graphic novel. I acquired a Playstation 3 in March and Street Fighter IV has been my game of choice to spend the most time with. I've also rekindeled my love for the retro, playing games in the Mega Man series. After beating 9 I've gone back to the beginning (well, almost) playing and beating 2, and currently trying to beat 3 (which is proving to be quite the ordeal). For my handhelds, I'm trying to get through Final Fantasy Tactics A2, God of War: Chains of Olympus, and Mother 3. Multitasking games has always been tough going for me, especially when this year is looking to be an exciting one for games in general (for fighters, BlazBlue and King of Fighters XII are highly anticipated, as well as the recently announced US bound game Tatsunoko vs Capcom). New RPGs on the horizion and remakes of old classics like Punch Out for the Wii are just a few of the games coming out that will ensure my career as a gamer continues well into the next decade. Whether that's a good thing or not, has yet to be determined.

  I've also been going through something of a mid-twenties crisis personal-wise. When my brother was my age he was already married with a kid. Me? Far from it. Not to say that I wouldn't like to find a relationship one day though; far from it. I'd been recently spending more time with a close friend from college that I'd like to take to another level...but that's been hard to do as I'm terrible at expressing my feelings, and also due to the fact that since our last outing I haven't heard from her since. So it's quite discouraging to say the least. I'm trying my best not to make a big deal about it though. Key word is "trying".

  As of this moment, it's Memorial day which means I'm home. Should be going to hang with the gang later, which will be fun as always. This weekend I'll be in Long Island for my friend Chris' annual birthday weekend bash which I am highly anticipating.

  And that's pretty much it. My future is quite uncertain right now. I have so many things I'd love to pursue but can't because either I'm afraid of stepping outside my comfort zone, or because it's just not feasible. I'd love for one day to wake up and truly feel happy about my life, but I don't that will happen anytime soon. I think the last time that happened was when I was 15 years old, and it was the middle of summer vacation. Those were the days...

  Hopefully it won't be another 6 months until my next update. Here's hoping for a brighter day.

                                                                                            SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...

  • 1:42 pm
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