February 12, 2007
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No Side
You know that feeling you get when you look at a puddle of water that's muddy and stagnant, with that film of dirt on the top that prevents you from seeing the bottom? Almost like you don't know anything anymore? Well, that's what the past few days have been like for me. It's a sad state of affairs, exacerbated by the realization that less than three months left of college and not one f-ing idea where I'm going to end up afterwards. After my disappointing performance at the Page Program I haven't had the confidence to get up and search for another interview. Well, not quite. I've been looking all around for entry level positions in television but all I keep finding are "Administrative Assistant" jobs, which I'm not too fond of because that's kind of what my current job is like now. I don't know. It's looking pretty bleak.
And speaking of my current job, I got some shocking news the other day; my boss has submitted her letter of resignation, with her last day being March 15th (Ides of March no less). My future at this job is now gray, because whoever they replace her with may not even need assistants or will probably run things in a way that I won't be happy with. Granted that I only have three months left at this job, but I'd much rather leave it without a sour taste in my mouth. I guess in the worst case scenario I'll quit and devote my new free time to more studying, practicing music and looking for fulltime employment. But that's only in a worst case scenario; I still need to pay bills so I'll need some kind of paycheck.
The winds of change are in motion and are slowing making their way towards a complete upheaval of my life. These days it seems that much harder to get out of bed. I really don't know why I do anymore. If only there was some connection I had that could get me a job at NBC or ABC or the CW...I don't really care. I need to have some peace of mind already.
*Deep sigh*
SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...
Comments (2)
Don't let the bastards grind you down. You are far too strong and bright a person to be fazed by the winds of change. Yes, I know what its like to stand at the crossroads so I am not just talking out of my ass. One foot in front of another is the only way to do things - a step-by-step gameplan to life will leave you disappointed; life doesn't play by our rules. But a general idea of what you want paired with the motivation to get there no matter the obstacles will never fail you.
You studied what you love and that's what is most important. My mother majored in Soviet History and she is now a proof reader. Don't fret about the future and make hasty decisions because you think you're running out of time. Take all things as they come and fight until the very end. You're strong enough, you can make it.
Hi havent been here in AGES But nonetheless here i am when crisis reigns and rears its ugly head....just because your life doesn't look golden now doesnt mean that is that muddy grey of doom. An opportunity will come again; do not fear. You have talent that many would like to have. A great personality as well. Keep your head up high and doggy paddle for a time if you must. But dont do it for too long or otherwise you will be stuck going down stream when you want to reach the shore. You must learn to swim sometime and the only way how is to have persistence and paitence. never lose that twinkle in your eye and the spring in your step because there will be a time when you will need it most and never be what you are not. That is the worst possible insult you can ever give yourself...See you wandering space cowboy and may we meet again on the winds of time...
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